I’m a huge believer in the thought that everything happens for a reason. Especially when things seem to be downright WHACK – for lack of a better term – it helps me justify why things might not be going the way I expect them to. Tegan Trovato of Bright Arrow Coaching – a life and leadership coach by trade and all-around badass in general – was something that happened for a reason. She is the subject of the 8th interview in my Faces & Places series, and was recommended to me by someone connected to Jessica Zweig – the subject of my 5th interview.
As I sat with her during our interview and later listened to my audio notes, I couldn’t help but laugh – her advice was exactly what I needed at this particular moment of my life – in my career path, with this particular passion project of mine – all of it. As you’ll learn in the interview, I’ve been working on a LOT of different projects but I haven’t necessarily been feeling like any one particular thing has clicked – and I’ve been feeling a little listless, trying to figure out which path to go down. Welp, this chat with Tegan really helped put things in perspective.
So, if you’ve ever felt unclear, or stuck, or unsure of yourself – this one’s for you. Check out my latest interview with Tegan Trovato about finding your higher purpose, knowing it’s okay not to know what you’re doing all the time and especially knowing that you are enough.
MZ: Tell us a little bit about yourself
TT: I am a married woman with two fur babies and I live here in Chicago. I own a business called Bright Arrow Coaching and spend my days listening to individuals’ greatest dreams, their biggest fears and all the reasons they think they don’t deserve to have all the things they want yet. And then I get to help them change their minds and build action plans to build the life they want.
MZ: That’s so profound – the level of work that you’re doing is incredible. And I know that you have quite a background in HR – was that kind of a catalyst for where you are now?
TT: It served me well to have that HR background – but I think the catalyst for me was a lot more personal than that. What those years in corporate America did allow me to do was get very clear on what I was really good at. It gave me a platform to practice a lot of these skills.
At one point, before Bright Arrow Coaching, I built a workplace coaching platform to teach people how to be coaches. I also led training and development for several years, and I built programs to help adults learn and achieve in their careers. What I pulled from all of that, over the years, was the really specific type of work I loved to do – that’s how I got clear that coaching was the thing.
MZ: So was there any ‘I’ve got to get out and do my own thing’ flip of the switch that you felt?
TT: Yes – there was. I think I ignored the stirring for a long time because I didn’t know what it was yet. And I’ll often see this with my clients too – we get clear on what we don’t want before we land on exactly what we do want. And so for me, the catalyst was the point in my life where I finally had the big, executive, global job that I thought I wanted. And when I got there… not what I wanted.
And I had filled in all the gaps of information with things I made up about how great it was gonna be and what it would be like and who I was gonna work with… and while a lot of those things were true, they weren’t as fulfilling as I told myself they were going to be. And so after moving myself across the country and taking on this really huge job, I was waking up in the morning feeling like, this is empty. After that, I got clear really fast that a lot of my greatest talents were entrepreneurial; that I had some grit and capability to build a business that I think doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people.
MZ: I’m curious, personally, because I feel like I’ve never been completely satiated in any job that I’ve had and I’m starting to kind of explore this area of things that I like to do on my own… when did you know? What a cliché question!
TT: It’s not – it’s a great question. What I want you to know about that is that there’s a series of knowing. Sometimes there may be one moment where you make the decision and know ‘This is it. I am done with my old life and I am ready for this new life.’ That is definitely a switch that you flip.
But there is also the more gradual type of knowing. For me it was a series of knowing leading up to that – little realizations and moments of clarity that led to me having the bravery that it took to actually flip the switch. So all the things that you’re talking about, all the questions, and all the milestones – those are serving you. They’re required.
MZ: Well that makes me feel a lot better – it’s vindicating!
So you gave a broad overview regarding what you do with Bright Arrow Coaching already, but I’d love for you to go in depth about what it is, and what you do for people, specifically.
TT: With Bright Arrow Coaching, I serve my clients in a variety of ways. I like to try and meet people where they are. Sometimes that means working one-on-one; they may come to me for life coaching and bring a specific goal or specific discomfort (it’s not always a positive thing they come to me with). A lot of people come to me for career transition guidance because of my background. Sometimes I work with leaders and actually go into companies to coach executives and their teams. Other times an executive will come to me on their own and want to work one-on-one for leadership coaching.
What’s interesting about anyone I work with is that there is a common theme around redefining. So even when I go into companies, I find that leaders have inherited this definition of what leadership is and they feel uncomfortable about it. And so we work together to let them give themselves permission to redefine what leadership actually means to them – so that they can lead with confidence.
Image courtesy of Tegan Trovato/Bright Arrow Coaching.
MZ: I actually read the piece you recently authored for Forbes about your ‘inheritance’ – about it being defined not as something that is financial, but rather all the things that you’ve ‘sucked up’ from your environments related to the things you think you’re supposed to be and how you can redefine them. I really resonated with that – it’s kind of like career path mindfulness! You choose to find things that are being thrown at you and you can be like, ‘okay, maybe I will accept that – maybe I won’t.’
TT: Yes, and a lot of it is so subconscious – that’s one thing I like to point out to people. When we start out on our career journey, we are children. We’re 18 years old! And most of the time we’re about to buy into a really expensive degree program and make big decisions about who we’re gonna be 30 years later. And so a lot of what I end up doing is working with people to help them realize it’s okay to have a second career, once you’re knowledgeable about who you are and what you want to do.
MZ: People make jokes about that all the time, ‘yeah, I had to pick a major and I went into XYZ because I didn’t know what I was doing.’ and so on. That’s so clarifying. We really were children. And it’s nice to know that it’s totally okay.
TT: People reinvent all the time. Many times people come to me to do that, and they’re saying to themselves, ‘this feels impossible. How possible is this?’ And I don’t fluff them. If you want to become an astronaut at 50, we’re going to have to have a real talk about something. But because of my background in HR, I can help them make really educated and strategic moves.
Another thing about my business – it’s not always one-on-one coaching. Some people can’t afford that. Or maybe aren’t comfortable with that right away. I do group coaching and workshops as well. And what I love about workshops is that I’m not the only one they learn from that day. We create this environment were people just feel okay sharing their truths with a room full of relative strangers and they leave with a whole cheering section. It’s really powerful!
MZ: And I’m sure people’s different perspectives helps immensely – what a powerful source of energy.
So when it comes to your creative process – whether it’s working on a solution for one of your clients or a new material or product or even an article for Forbes. What’s your process like?
TT: Man I tell you – I am doing more creative work now than I ever have. I spend two to three hours, sometimes six to eight hours a day, creating. Those of us coming out of corporate America, though, we don’t think of ourselves as artists in almost anything most of us do, right? But what I’ve come to appreciate is that my art is really a form of modern art. For me to design programs that humans interact with, share their most vulnerable side with and come out of feeling powerful – that is art!
So my process is that I always open with meditation – I have to get still. Because when you’re sitting with other people’s energy all day coaching, hearing their fears, their excitement – you really do absorb a lot. And most of the time that’s really wonderful – but nonetheless, it’s not mine, and so I have to find a way to let some of that fall away. And since I’m an entrepreneur, my brain is also going in a very linear direction all the time (which is the opposite of art) – I’m very much thinking about what x leads to y and dreaming things up and creating processes and so I have to create a stillness where I let that side of things fall away too.
That meditation process doesn’t take long because I’ve been practicing mindfulness for quite a while. So after about 10 minutes of guided meditation I’m able to get nice and centered, and then I start creating. However, if I’ve had a particularly emotional day on the personal side (like if my husband and I had a disagreement), I find that it’s hard to tap into that creative side. And so I have to sometimes also respect that the time may not be right when I find it convenient, and I have to honor that.
MZ: That is such an interesting concept! That’s how I am sometimes – when I sit down to write something – I probably don’t even notice that I’m not ‘feeling it’, or feeling like myself. How do you tell that you are centered?
TT: When it’s flowing out, it’s easy. If I use phrases in my day – like ‘I just pulled this out of my brain’ or ‘I gave birth to this’, that tells you I was having to work really hard to tap into my creative side. That is not being centered, or ‘in flow’. When things come out onto a page – so much so that I have to trim it back – that’s how I know I’m in it. And I can tell right away, within the first 5 minutes – either it’s flowing out, or it’s gonna be work.
MZ: I’ve never really been good about making a ritual when I am trying to be creative. That’s a really interesting thing to try.
TT: And depending on the work, sometimes I need music (but I can’t have music with words). I feel like that’s a form of meditation in itself that helps you get centered. Also, I work from home most of the time, but sometimes I need to change environments to get creative – so I haunt some serious coffee shops around the city.
Image courtesy of Tegan Trovato/Bright Arrow Coaching.
MZ: Actually I’ll jump ahead a little to a question I normally ask – what’s your favorite place to get work done in Chicago?
TT: I’ve been working from home in this city for 3 years now, and I haven’t been to the same place almost ever. I think that’s part of the creative stimulus. But like I said, it’s mainly coffee shops. ‘
My coffee shop of the moment is the Drunken Bean, and, full transparency, here’s how it goes some days: I’ll get there super early, I’ll have coffee, I’ll eat all my meals there (which they don’t have any problem with, right?), and then I’ll close the day by drinking the wine they serve in the evening. That’s when you know you’ve had a full workday AND served your local business. Here’s my money, I’m keeping the neighborhood alive and well!
MZ: So as you know, Some Places I’m Moderately Excited About is all about travel – I’m a huge believer in the fact that travel can be extremely inspirational. Where is the last place you traveled or favorite place you’ve traveled?
TT: I’ll answer both. The last place I traveled was Riviera Maya, Mexico – I will go anywhere where there’s a beach because I am a lazy vacationer. I will pay extra to make sure that there is a great spot for me to park my ass and just hang out. Because I go go go all the time and it’s such a gift to be in a beautiful place and just be still.
But I’ve also traveled all through Europe, and that’s not a place to sit on your ass, because that’d be a total waste! I think my favorite city is always going to be Paris. I lived right outside of Paris for close to a year and traveled into the city so often that I knew the whole public transit system like the back of my hand. And after being there long enough (no one thought I was French, let’s not be mistaken), but people thought I was German, so I was treated like a local most of the time.
MZ: You kind of answered this already, but how do you find inspiration from travel?
TT: There are certain things now that I’m really interested in having when I travel – such as a sense of disconnection from my current life and a sense of reconnection with myself – which come from being inspired visually. So blue water, white beaches, lush, tropical green places; it’s an escape. Some of my greatest realizations, ideas and wakeup calls have come from that kind of stillness over the last 5 years… and visual stimulation helps me do that.
Also traveling abroad in general reminds me how big the world is and how small the world is. I feel like a dot on the map when I leave this country and I love it – it’s humbling. But I’ve also run into people who know people from my city when I’m abroad. It’s really crazy.
MZ: This last question is always my favorite – is there anything else that you want to share with our readers? It’s such an open-ended question, but it’s so fun. What do you want to bring to the table?
TT: If I had a microphone and could share something with the world, is simply that you are okay. People are so hungry to be acknowledged and validated for where they are right now – it makes me want to tear up.
If you could hear how scared people are. Even the strongest people. They’re not sure they’ve done the right things. It moves me so much, because I’m so humbled by how powerful some of the people are that I work with and how unsure they are of their greatness, and if they’ve done enough and if they’re serving a purpose.
Also that there is more than one run at anything. You’re not stuck because you made some choices. You can make other choices today. Especially Americans. We’re very, very lucky that way.
MZ: Yes – we are very privileged. One of my favorite reasons for traveling is because I am humbled and it keeps me humbled. That humbleness is really amazing. And regarding ‘you’re okay’ – I have recently gotten way more into yoga (I’m a very anxious person, not super OCD, but a perfectionist). And I have really hard expectations for myself. And one day in yoga class, the instructor goes, “You’re cool. You’re good enough.” And I really liked it because I don’t talk to myself that way.
TT: And isn’t that the lesson? That we don’t talk to ourselves that way. And when we hear someone else say it to us – I was moved to tears just thinking about the number of clients that I’ve told that to – that I’ve just said, ‘you’re enough’. And to see the kinds of tears that they shed over the fact that no one’s said that to them – and to your point, they’ve never said it to themselves. This is our opportunity as a culture, and especially as women, to shift. That internal dialogue can build you, or it can break you.
MZ: It’s really refreshing how mainstream it’s becoming. I don’t think anyone was really having that conversation.
TT: Certainly not. Even 10 years ago. I’m just so grateful that I was able to have this conversation, and I’m really excited to put this knowledge out there so that people can read it, and hopefully be empowered by it. And just for the simple fact of those little takeaways. You are enough. You are doing okay. You’re nailing it. You don’t think so or tell yourself you are – but you are. And I don’t want to be too flippant and just walk around telling people they’re beautiful and perfect and wonderful, but I want them to figure out how to figure out their greatness – and to figure out their purpose.
I know people spend entire lifetimes on this planet and go to their deathbeds feeling unattached to a cause or purpose. And we’re in a time where people need to feel attached to a cause or a purpose. And so while in one vein I certainly want people to feel their own power and worth and that they’re good enough, sometimes that also comes from getting clear on why we’re here. We don’t always know that answer, but sometimes the power is in asking yourself the right questions. That’s where you start.
MZ: Do you have one question you feel like would be helpful to somebody trying to figure that out, without going too in depth?
TT: A lot of times as simple as spending some quality time with yourself reflecting on when in your life have you felt ‘in flow’. Which is to say it was easy for you – you were helping someone or something or yourself, and serving a greater cause or mission in the world. It may be one specific aspect of a job you’ve done – one small thing out of your entire career, and that might be your beacon that you come back to.
It’s not really a question – more like a reflection on your past about when you felt really aligned and good and things were easy. It can be such fun to give yourself permission to stop trying to force the answer to come out and just be open to receiving the answer through reflection. The answer will show itself. If you’re seeking, it always does.
Want to learn more about Tegan or Bright Arrow Coaching, or even book a complimentary consultation with her? Head over to her website here! You can also check out the list of upcoming workshops here and see what she’s up to on Instagram here.
